"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world."
Robin Williams ( July 21st 1951 - August 11th 2014)
" All my love to you, poppet, you’re going to be all right. Bye bye. “
I’m so tired of people telling me German is an “ugly, angry” language. When my German teacher tells us jokes it’s the sweetest, happiest language in the world. When I teach my father the word for daughter he smiles, repeating “Tochter” to himself until he gets it right, and in that moment German sounds like pride. There’s nothing angry or ugly about a language that never says goodbye, only “until we meet again.”
aaaand now I’m crying.
This one. This is the one that did me in.
don’t do this to me
A sad farewell to the amazing Robin Williams. He was truly one of a kind.
R.I.P. Robin Williams, thank you for making us laugh throughout the years.
Manly portrait time.
Look at that filter. Look at kben being so serious.
And then there’s this:
From the outside looking in, you can’t understand it.
From the inside looking out, you can’t explain it.
So I might’ve promised some people a post about how I feel about FaberryCon North, and here it is. (Bear with me. It’s 10pm (ETA: 11.30PM now) and I’m tired and trying to sort out my feels. Then again, it’s supposed to be ramblish.)
I honestly did not know what to expect when I signed up for an Attending Membership back in March. Probably this: At best I was hoping to meet some people I’ve been talking online to for years (Well. At least one year. I don’t know what happens on my own timeline.) and that I really wanted to meet because they became friends, and who I’d hopefully not bother too much. At worst I’d be awkwardly sitting in the corner.
Let me tell you that only the first thing happened. (WELL, I can’t judge the „not bothering anyone“ part. But I hope I wasn’t too obnoxious.)
This was not the first con I ever went to, but the first one that really mattered. Unlike with huge conventions, you can’t hide in anonymity at FaberryCon. And that’s a good thing, actually. When the first anime/manga craze started in Germany, I met two people who would later become two of my best friends (and have been for the past 12 years!) through fandom; even though we’d eventually pass on from the source material, the friendships remained. So I’m well aware of the power of fandom.
Thanks to jarrow I had two fantastic roomies and we were united in our „the imperial system is hella weird what the fuck is 86°F WE ARE BURNING HOW MUCH IS IT IN CELSIUS WHAT THE FUCK IS A MILE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MONEY WHY IS IT JUST GREEN GO AWAY“ ways. And also, they’re awesome people.
I met some pretty fantastic people over the course of the con. I tried to make an effort to speak to as many people as I could, but I know that I didn’t catch all of you. And in hindsight, that makes me a bit sad. I’ll try to do better next time. But I did have a few wonderful talks and there was never a dull moment, even if we didn’t agree on something. (And for everything else there’s Cards against Humanity. I would also like to thank the Con for introducing me to Fandom Cards against Humanity. I didn’t even know I needed that until last Saturday.)
I’ve always been an introvert, so being in a room with 50 other people wasn’t really on the top of my priority list. But you guys made it worth it. (Also not on the top of my list: Giving out hugs left and right to people I don’t really know. So. If I hugged you, consider it a big deal.) Also, being an introvert lead to me trying to have some peace and quiet every once in a while. (I love all of you, but Jesus Christ, y’all have some pipes.) So, if I looked disinterested at any time, just know it wasn’t the con. Or you. It’s just me.)
In Europe, being a part of a predominantly US-american fandom always feels like sitting on the outside, looking in. At best you’d be seeing pictures/videos of people doing awesome stuff, but you resign yourself to the fact that you’ll most likely never gonna meet them, unless some random stroke of luck brought them to your vicinity. (Nevermind the celebrities, I’m talking fandom people here.) And getting the supporting membership package is not enough to make those feelings go away, even if it’s a nice consolation price. (IT’S HELLA NICE BUT YOU KNOW IT’S NOT THE REAL THING.)
But this con. You guise. Yes, I’d sit in a bus for again for 18hrs (ONE WAY TRIP) from Canada to the States and deal with american border control, just for those few days. (I swear to god. „Were you involved in any Nazi activity between 1933-1945.“ I know that they did a lot of experimental testing, but I’m fairly certain they didn’t make time-travelling Germans.)
I would also like to note that I have never seen a safe space like FaberryCon before. I was impressed by what people were willing to share openly, and without judgement, and I applaud you all. I come from a family that doesn’t really talk about feelings, at all, until an issue can’t be ignored anymore, so the only time I tend to really delve deeply into mine is when I’m getting dead-ass drunk and can’t remember anything the next morning. (There are a few unfortunate souls that can attest to this. Then again, so can the whatsapp chatlog.)
I have not cried, yet. Maybe it’s because FaberryCon + being in Canada for the last 3 months still feels so surreal to me. (FYI: I haven’t even shed a tear when I left Germany or for feeling homesick (which has also yet to set in). Maybe I’m just weird. Or maybe it’s a sign.) Maybe it’s because I’m already looking forward to the next con.
I’m very sad that I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to all of you. (Especially JT, that little shit, who suddenly was just gone. POOF! NEXT TIME I’LL GET YOU.) I’m also very sad that I already had to depart on Sunday evening and didn’t have the intellectual capacity at the time to borrow one of my roomies keys to get up to the party room to say goodbye.
While I was standing at the Greyhound station, which is located directly in front of the Hilton in Newark where the con was, just to torture me some more, waiting for a bus that would ultimately be 45min late, I felt like the Doctor.
And if that bus had taken 5 more minutes to arrive, I would’ve gone back inside, adult consequences be damned. (Who needs a boring housekeeping job when you can just travel or meet up with friends.)
At the very beginning, I joined the Glee fandom and wrote fics to better my English. (I like to pretend that it worked.) I got stuck on Faberry when my interested in Glee faded, and on all the fantastic people I met. When I think „Faberry“ these days, I think of all of you first, and not the actual ship. I don’t consider myself a huge light when it comes to all the fantastic writers this fandom has. But it does make my heart fuzzy that I can contribute to it’s brightness in even a small way.
Was that cheesy? That was cheesy. Let’s scratch that.And then they bone.